I never post about my life but I need tell this to someone anonymous…
There’s this guy from work that I’ve flirted with since the beginning, even when we were both with other people and we helped each other through our break-ups and I’ve asked him so many times for guy advice and the whole time we just sorta flirted and were friends. I hadn’t seen him in a while but I covered this girl’s shift and worked with him and we started talking again and I asked for guy advice again. I met this cute guy at a party and I needed help haha. But things with the guy from the party fell through, so on the fourth I was feeling bad about it so I invited my work friend over to the party I was at just out of frustration. Everyone at the party told me he was clearly into me but I didn’t see it. The next day he asked me to go fishing with him, and I really hate fishing but I went anyways because I was still feeling frustrated about the other boy and it was something to do to get my mind off of it. Then I didn’t see or hear from him for a couple days and to be honest I didn’t really notice. Then there was a day when I asked the guy from the party to hang out and he was really lame about it so I decided to give up on him, and my work friend asked me to hang out. But I jokingly gave him a super hard time about it because he tried to ask me out over snapchat which is unacceptable so I told him to text or call me like an adult. Like I have never been as sassy to someone in my life as I am to this boy. But he still kept talking to me. So we hung out just us that day. Then a couple days ago he asked me to a movie, so we went and did that. Like clearly these were dates but we were acting way too casually about them, like we wouldn’t even hug afterward we would just say bye and continue on with our lives. Then this past Monday he asked me if I had plans at all and I said no, so he told me he had plans for us, which is my favorite thing in the world that someone could do for me, and to be honest I didn’t think that really happened to people. So we went into the city and it was amazing but we were still just acting as friends, like when I tried to hug him goodbye he patted me on the head and just said “bye kiddo” so I was so confused. And by that point I was starting to like him, because earlier in the summer I was convinced I wouldn’t like him for some reason. But I’m going to college this fall and he’s not so that’s where this story turns. The next night I had a fire at my house with a few friends and I invited him. After everyone left he told me he had something for me in his car so we went to his car and he told me to close my eyes. So I did and he kissed me and it was pretty fantastic and he kept saying how he had been waiting for that to happen forever and it was wicked cute, and again it didn’t seem like something real people did. Then the next night he came over my friend’s house and afterwards I told him that I just couldn’t commit because of college and he was upset but he said ok, because I was still willing to see him and hook up or make out or have fun or whatever. But later that night he texted me that he just couldn’t do that. That he had to commit and go all out for just one person and honestly it was such a bittersweet moment because I knew that it was everything I wanted out of a guy but I just couldn’t have it right now. It’s so sad because that is exactly how a guy should treat a girl and I can’t be that girl. But these past few weeks were so important. It was nice to experience someone liking me that much that they couldn’t just hook up with me because they liked me too much and couldn’t get attached when I was just gonna leave. It was nice to feel wanted but now we’re “just friends” and my heart is slightly broken even though I know it’s my fault, but he deserves a girl who can commit. That’s just not me. And I hope I can find someone as amazing as him when I’m ready to be that amazing for them.
This month’s giveaway is for the runners! I’m not one myself, but I deeply respect those who love the sport - more power to you if you’re doing what you love! And whether you are running 2 miles or 20 miles, your run is a good one. :) Here’s some gear to get you out there.
ITEMS (retail value ~$400) :
- One pair of size 8.5 black/purple Nike Flex 2 trainers. (Please note: These have been worn ONCE, on a short walk. They are still in brand new condition and have also been cleaned.)
- One Omron strap/watch heart rate monitor.
- One silver RaceReady “cord taming” dry-wick running shirt, size M.
- One pink Nike Dri-Fit running t-shirt, size M.
- One black Nike Dri-Fit loose fit shirt, size M. (this item is hard to describe; please click the link for an image.)
- One Mondetta Performance Gear gray/pink quarter-zip track jacket, size M.
- One pair of UnderArmour HeatGear compression capri leggings, size M.
- One pair of blue/green Nike running shorts, size M.
- One pair of grey/pink Adidas compression shorts, size M.
- One blue reversible Champion compression bra, size S.
- One blue Brooks running hat.
- 3-pack of Nike training socks.
- 2-pack of braided Nike headbands.
- One pink Urban Beatz sports armband for smartphones.
- One pair of Cygnett in-ear sports earbuds.
- One box of ProBar Bolt organic energy chews, raspberry flavor.
- One sample box of Accel Gel energy gel supplements.
- 1 lb. bag of Skratch Labs hydration mix, lemon-lime flavor.
- You don’t have to be following me to win this. However, I would really love if you did. :) I think my blog is a pretty decent and positive place. Follow if you want to!
- Reblog for an entry, no limits on reblogs. Likes and signal boosts are appreciated.
- Anyone can enter, anyone can win. If you’re entering on behalf of someone else, I encourage you to make a note of it in your reblog.
- Healthy and positive blogs only. You don’t have to be a fitness blog, but ABSOLUTELY NO pro-ED/self harm, body shaming, or hate speech.
- I will use a random generator to pick a winner on July 1. Reblog before the end of June for a chance to win!
- I will ship to the US and Canada for free. If you live somewhere else, I’ll still send it if you can Paypal me some shipping cash. :)
- 1. push yourself to get up before the rest of the world - start with 7am, then 6am, then 5:30am. go to the nearest hill with a big coat and a scarf and watch the sun rise.
2. push yourself to fall asleep earlier - start with 11pm, then 10pm, then 9pm. wake up in the morning feeling re-energized and comfortable.
3. get into the habit of cooking yourself a beautiful breakfast. fry tomatoes and mushrooms in real butter and garlic, fry an egg, slice up a fresh avocado and squirt way too much lemon on it. sit and eat it and do nothing else.
4. stretch. start by reaching for the sky as hard as you can, then trying to touch your toes. roll your head. stretch your fingers. stretch everything.
5. buy a 1L water bottle. start with pushing yourself to drink the whole thing in a day, then try drinking it twice.
6. buy a beautiful diary and a beautiful black pen. write down everything you do, including dinner dates, appointments, assignments, coffees, what you need to do that day. no detail is too small.
7. strip your bed of your sheets and empty your underwear draw into the washing machine. put a massive scoop of scented fabric softener in there and wash. make your bed in full.
8. organise your room. fold all your clothes (and bag what you don’t want), clean your mirror, your laptop, vacuum the floor. light a beautiful candle.
9. have a luxurious shower with your favourite music playing. wash your hair, scrub your body, brush your teeth. lather your whole body in moisturiser, get familiar with the part between your toes, your inner thighs, the back of your neck.
10. push yourself to go for a walk. take your headphones, go to the beach and walk. smile at strangers walking the other way and be surprised how many smile back. bring your dog and observe the dog’s behaviour. realise you can learn from your dog.
11. message old friends with personal jokes. reminisce. suggest a catch up soon, even if you don’t follow through. push yourself to follow through.
13. think long and hard about what interests you. crime? sex? boarding school? long-forgotten romance etiquette? find a book about it and read it. there is a book about literally everything.
14. become the person you would ideally fall in love with. let cars merge into your lane when driving. pay double for parking tickets and leave a second one in the machine. stick your tongue out at babies. compliment people on their cute clothes. challenge yourself to not ridicule anyone for a whole day. then two. then a week. walk with a straight posture. look people in the eye. ask people about their story. talk to acquaintances so they become friends.
15. lie in the sunshine. daydream about the life you would lead if failure wasn’t a thing. open your eyes. take small steps to make it happen for you.
when books make you cry like fuck you book you’re a stack of paper